Reflections of my baby

Jr goes back to school tomorrow. This time is slightly different than most. This time, he's a High School student. I'm facing tomorrow with a mixture of emotions. I'm glad he's going back, as he's been bored and fidgety. I'm sad because it feels almost like this is another phase of his life closing forever. No longer is he the little boy who would crawl into my lap and play with my hair. No longer is he the little boy that enjoyed playing with action figures and super hero costumes. We've now replaced toy cars with computers and ipods. I look at him now and see a young man who's preparing for his future, talking about college and driving. In January, he'll be eligible for his Learner's Permit. Again, the fear sets in. My baby driving around in that crazy world while I fearfully grip the door handle, praying for our safe return. The next step - driving around in the crazy world without me. Without me?? That's something I'm definitely not ready for. I miss him already!

When he's grown and has his own family, I'm sure I'll look back and smile at the many memories we've created as a family. I'll fondly remember listening to him hum the Star Wars theme over and over again while he played or watching him put every single Halloween costume on that he'd ever owned, all at the same time or feeling the excitement grow as he and I would create a silly hat for silly hat day at school.

The first time I met him, he was 3 years old. He was weary of any woman in his Daddy's life, I suppose. Slowly, he warmed to me and before you knew it, he was sitting in my lap showing me how to work his favorite toy. I never thought I could love someone else's child as though he were mine. He brought a dimension that I'd prayed for and gladly accepted. Watching him grow has been a privilege. Its not all been easy, and I'm sure he doesn't always believe that I'm happy to have him in my life. We're both head strong, set in our ways, opinionated, antagonistic... But I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. He's been my baby, my boy, my heart and for that, I'm BLESSED.