What makes a person, a parent?

As of late, I've been giving a lot of thought to one subject in particular. What makes a person into a parent? Is it the act of having a child that makes you a parent or is it the act of rearing a child that makes you a parent?



I came across an interesting quote that answers my questions, to a point.



"A genitor who does not parent the child is not its parent" (Ashley Montagu)



I'll admit that when reading this comment the first time I had to look up the word "genitor". For all of you reading this, it means, "giver of life".



Surely the act of giving birth would, in some aspect, make me a mother but would it automatically give me the right to be called a "Mom"? All over the world people ask this question of fathers; going so far as to call them "sperm donors". Mothers can be egg donors too, I suppose.



I suppose all of this is coming from fear on my part. Each day I love three children of whom I had no role in their births. I know that I do more for each of their children than their natural mothers do. I'm not saying that I love them more or less, just saying that I really do put a lot into trying to mold them into loving, functioning adults. Each of them is special to me in so many ways.



Jr. - My first child. In the beginning, there was only him. That mischievous grin that told me he was surely up to no good, is one of my first and fondest memories of him. He stretches me in so many ways. As frustrating as he can be sometimes, he makes me a better person and makes me question things in ways I wouldn't otherwise. He's begun to question everything. Sometimes its like he's trying to pick fights, just to see me get riled. Sr keeps telling me not to take it personally. I'm trying. I'm learning a lot through this banter with him, though. Its made me question things on different levels. He is going to be an amazing man someday. I pray that as he grows, that he knows how much I've loved him from the very first time I saw him. He truly was love at first sight!



M - With a smile that lights the room, she came into our lives with such force and fervor. From the minute I held her the first time, I knew that she was a special little girl. Those blue eyes could melt the frozen tundra (and they have). Sometimes when I feel so overwhelmed that I can't figure out which side is up, she does something unexpected and suddenly the world it righted again. Recently, she's been really enjoying being read to. "Brown Bear" has become one of her favorites. She's begun to turn the pages for me as I read, right on queue. I went from wondering if she even understood what I was doing, to being amazed that she's following along.



Z - What can I say about that boy? Dear God, he's a handful! From the minute he wakes up to the second he falls asleep, he's demanding.... demanding attention, demanding a bottle, demanding a diaper change, demanding something! I get the most frustrated with him, I think. Just not being able to figure out what he wants sometimes is a task I just can't grapple with. Usually just when I think I've found the end of my rope, he stops just long enough for me to catch my breath and head back in. He is such a loving boy, though. His kisses (or dive bomb to the face) are the sweetest and out of the blue. All of a sudden he'll stop what he's doing and just plant one on ya. It usually cracks me up when he does it, which make him laugh and then, once again... a moment of fresh air.

My fear is this: will they know how much they were loved? As Jr grows into the man he's sure to become, will he know how dearly he was loved and will he pass that love to his children? I don't think a teenager is capable of understanding the magnitude of love that their parents have for them. I remember thinking that my parents were raising me because it was what was expected of them to do. I know differently now, of course, and I hope he does too as he becomes an adult. My fear with the twins is slightly different. There is some part of me that still fears that someday I'll be faced with having to let them go back. Should that happen, I wonder if they will know how much they were loved and cherished while they were here. My heart would break if any of the three were to be away from me for any length of time.

I love each of them in so many different ways. To explain it would take up the entirety of cyberspace. They are, each one, very endearing and special. Sometimes I wonder why I do this. Why do I spend all my time, energy and money on raising other people's children?? The answer is simple. Because they deserve it!

That leads me back to my original question. What makes a person into a parent? I think the answer is "Love".

Another trip complete...

As many of you may or may not know, we travel to North Carolina once a month for visitation. A little background may be needed so let me elaborate. My son (aka step son - bet lets not get technical) has one weekend a month in which he visits with his mother in Greensboro, NC. The twins' parents (aka niece and her husband - but lets not get technical) are supposed to meet there too for a short supervised visit with the twins. They were, once again, unable to make it.

I packed up the kids on Friday afternoon and headed to my parents' house. Sr had been out of town for over a week and I was very happy to hear that he decided to stop and spend some time with us before continuing his trip back home. His original plan was to leave early Saturday morning and head back home so that he could get back to work. Thankfully, my big brown eyes did the trick and I convinced him to stay until Sunday morning. It was nice to have him there!

Saturday morning I was shocked and amazed that both babies... yes... I'll say that again... both babies slept until 8:45 AM!!! So not only was I pleased as punch to be snuggling with my honey but I was able to sleep past 6:30. What a blessing!!!

Sr got up and took Jr to meet with his mom (the other one - just in case you were wondering). While he was gone my sister, in her hurried fashion, ran around getting the last minute things for the birthday party they were throwing for the twins. I helped to finish cleaning up the house, dress the babies and myself (thankfully - no one wants me showing up naked to a birthday party). Meanwhile my nieces & mother are really helping out with the twins. Its nice to have more than one set of hands with these two. I never really realize how much I do in a day with them until I have someone else helping.

Party time - people begin to arrive! Sis has done an amazing job on the food. We had fresh fruit, veggies, crackers, chips - each with their own form of dip - mostly made of CRACK! Yum! We opted for cupcakes instead of a large cake. I think that was a much better choice.... not that the babies liked it any better. Sitting around listening to the cacophony that is my family is one of my favorite things! We are so loud and obnoxious! But you can feel the love! When it was time to give the babies their cupcakes, we stripped them down and put them in their seats. As we were singing Happy Birthday, the screaming began! After many attempts at getting them to try their cakes, we gave up. But not until we had a few photo ops. My mother figured it out.... We strip them down to their diapers, strap them down in a chair, sit a cup cake in front of them and then all these people start yelling at them (singing happy birthday). I imagine its pretty scary! Of course if I hadn't wanted them to get into it.... it would have been ON!

Sunday morning the babies slept in a little again. I was a happy woman!

Hubby left mid morning and T, J & the Girls came by after church. I love simply hanging out with them. The girls are always a treat. Later a couple of my (many) cousins dropped by. Again.... a blast!

That night, my Niece spent the night. I tried to hang with her and Mom but they are way too good at this night owl thing. I'm a little out of practice. We watched scary shows and made cracks the whole time. I read all the scary captions in my tiny goofy voice and RR laughed her patootie off! What a time....

Next morning, back on the road. As much as I dislike that ride home, getting home is always such a relief. I'm so thankful that we live so close to them that I can have these weekends. But I wish they were closer! I miss having them close by. My Sis and I were having a conversation the other day about how nice it would be. I'd have someone I could leave the kids with for the weekend and sneak some hubby time in, and she'd have the same. Although she has that now. I'm the one without... boo hiss!

Well enough for now. I didn't realize I was writing a novel.

Oh, wait... I did have one thing I felt I needed to get off my chest. Speaking of writing...... I know that blogging is supposed to be a place where anyone can go and talk about anything they so choose. My problem is.... if you're going to invite people to read your blog, spell check. I know I know... petty, right?!?! It drives me crazy. I know that I'm not perfect - or even close, for that matter. I'd simply like to read something that makes sense. People need to pay attention! I guess maybe some people type like they talk. That drives me crazy too. If I offend anyone... I'm sorry. But I needed to say it was driving me crazy!

Moving in a DIFFERENT direction!

Saturday was a very fun day!

The morning started off with a whole house pick up. With the help of Jr I was able to get the entire house ready for company; floors mopped, swept & vacuumed, fresh sheets on beds, dusting, he even helped me dis-assemble the kitchen table and put it back together (one of the boards was stuck for the leaf to go in). My parents arrived a little after 1 and about 3:30 or 4, some amazing friends got here too. On top of it all, Sr was making a fantastic meal for us all. The babies were being overly fussy (teething, and all the commotion didn't contribute nicely to naps) but we managed to fit in a small 1st birthday celebration. L didn't understand the whole cake thing and was none too pleased to put her fingers into the mushy cake. Z took a little while to warm up to it and eventually had it all over the place (including the inside of his diaper). I still can't believe they're going to be a year old this weekend.

After we were all thoroughly stuffed, we descended into the living room for a haze filled gab session. Mom & Dad left for their hotel and Shari, Al, Woody & I sat around the table running our mouths about everything from religion to politics and beyond! I must say this was the highlight of my weekend.

Surrounded by friends & family with loud laughter and good food is the way I'd spend EVERY SINGLE DAY! I'm sure it would get old, but I'd definitely enjoy trying to wear it out!

Sunday morning, Sr got up and prepared another amazing meal. We all gathered around in my kitchen and ate and laughed some more.

When the dust settled, our visitors all got into their vehicles and headed to their respective homes. About an hour or so later, I found myself napping, snuggled sweetly beside my honey.

This weekend has made me reflect on a few things. I love living here. My only regret is that one friend in particular lives so far away. Sometimes in life you have to sacrifice things. This is not one of those things I wanted to sacrifice. So, for now, daily phone calls and e-mails will have to do. That is until I can convince her that she needs to live here too.

I've been able to spend more time with my family than ever since we've moved here. Even when we all lived 45 minutes away from one another, I don't think we saw each other as much as we do now. We may have, but it wasn't quality (not to say that I still didn't enjoy it). I've heard over and over again how quality over quantity was better. Now I'm a firm believer.

I said something to Shari yesterday morning that has been stuck in my head. I told her that if we lived closer that we wouldn't enjoy the time as much. In some ways, I still think that's true. But it would be nice, though, to be able to have her closer for an extra set of hands on occasion.

Another thing I said to her that's been stuck in my head is that I wanted to be her when I grow up. In my eyes, she's got such a knack for organization that I severely lack. She's always learning and teaching her children and I admire that. She's focused and determined to make things better for her husband and her children and herself all at the same time. By better, I don't mean that her life is bad. Rather that there is so much in this world that our families are exposed to that they REALLY shouldn't be. Sometimes its just easier to let "the system" tell you what's good and whats not without questioning why. I wonder if I'm guilty of that. I know I am to a certain degree. I'm more apt to sit back and accept something as truth without truly delving into it to find out the reasoning behind it. That can't be a crutch anymore. "The system" doesn't have my family's best interests in mind, and its my job to determine what's best for them.

Today I start moving in a different direction; trying to stay focused on a larger picture and managing myself and my family accordingly.

To my guests this weekend, I say, "Thank you".

On the road again.....

Tomorrow after Jr gets out of school we'll be getting on the road and heading to NC again. 5 Hours in the car with 11 month old babies and a 14 year old can have its ups & downs, that's for certain!!! The good part is that Jr gets chatty and starts talking more than usual. The bad part is... its 5 hours in the car with 11 month old babies and a 14 year old. ;-)

This month we will celebrate the babies 1st birthday. Geez... I can't believe their going to be a year old. Where has the time gone? They've been with us now since December 12, 2008. I remember the first time I held each of them. Zack was so tiny and frail looking. He was skinny and seemed weak, but had the cutest little sideways grin. Lissa had a head full of hair and was clearly the stronger of the two. She started wrapping Sr around her finger from the very start. Once they came to live with us, they really began cementing their little feet into our hearts. At first, I was so tired that I could hardly enjoy being with them. Once I got used to going without sleep, I was able to take it all in. Now, Zack's got a grip like a strongman and Lissa's ready to take on the world... as long as I'm within her line of sight.

Jr has been in school nearly 2 weeks now. I still can't get over having a high schooler. He's having some of the same struggles we've had since 1st grade. The beginning of the school year always seems to be the hardest. I guess its just getting back into the swing of things and not having any free time on your hands. I have faith that he'll get on track and do what's expected of him... and do it well! Especially with Sr behind him nudging him along.

Sr's taking more classes for his designations. Sometimes I think its the classroom environment that he enjoys more than getting the designations. That man always wants to know MORE... part of the reason I love him, I suppose. I'm very proud of all he does for us!

I'm finally beginning to feel better. Whatever creepy crud I had this week has certainly taken its toll on me but we're on the road to recovery..... sniffle sniffle

Hope all is well with you.....

Keep moving in that direction!!!

One sick Mama!!!

This weekend was a rough one!

I haven't been sick in a while; since we've gotten custody of the babies, I think. At least these were the words that were going through my head the other day when I started feeling the itch in the back of my throat. I'd been doing pretty good at putting everyone else's needs first and still managing to stay well. WELL.... that all changed on Friday.

Thursday I stared feeling a little scratchy so I drank some orange juice. Friday morning I got up and had a full fledged stuffy head... you know the kind that make your head feel like it weighs an extra 10 pounds. I trudged forward and tried my best to stay on task, even making a "to do" list so that I wouldn't get terribly distracted. Saturday I could feel the fever taking over. UGH!!! All the while, staying with my list and managing to finish it all up before Sr got home from his trip.

I know I like coming home to a clean house, so I figured I'd do my best to make sure he knew we were happy to have him home!

Sunday morning I woke with the nastiest, stuffiest, sneeziest cold I'd had in a VERY long time. I was more cold than the coldest winter morning, yet it was hot outside. Bundled in my long sleeved sweat shirt, jeans, and socks, I curled back into bed under the down comforter and slept peacefully for many hours. Thanks to MIL & Sr for tending to the babies!!! Sr came in and checked on me a couple of times and I was blissfully unaware! Thankfully, Mom made dinner and I was able to relax in a hot bath. Afterwards, I was feeling TONS better and slept very well throughout the night.

This morning I was refreshed as I woke. Only to find that BOTH babies are now exhibiting signs of the creepy crud. As I sit here and type, they are both sleeping well. Nap time usually takes about 2 hours and so far, they've been asleep for 2 1/2. I'm hoping they sleep right through the yuckies and wake up happy!

Now that I'm on the upswing, its back to the weekly grind. Although this week, I feel like I'm ahead of the curve since I was able to get the whole house in order before I crashed! Now its just a matter of maintaining.

Today I've been able to get my coupons organized, my menu for the week planned and dinner started. Its now 2:15 pm and I feel pretty confident that the rest of the day will go pretty well. Famous last words, right?

On an up-note... Z has finally started to sit up like a big boy. Last month he surprised us all with the leaps and bounds of progress he'd made. First crawling, then pulling up and standing up. Oddly, he wouldn't sit up on his bum. He'd lean over each and every time you'd try to sit him up. This morning I watched him sit straight up just like his sister and play. What a wonderful sight to see!!!!

As always, we're continuing to move in that direction!!!

What can I say?? I'm honored!!!

Wow!! Thanks, Shari (Life Gets Messy)!

Reading her blog this morning and I find that she's been given an award for how AWE-SUMMM she is and she's passed that honor on to me (along with 6 of her other buds).

So here's how it works....

1. List seven things that make you Awe-summm.
2. Pass this on to seven bloggers you read religiously.
3. Tag those seven bloggers.

I'm going to go backwards (kind of like a count down to the most awe-summ-est).

7. I'm constantly reminded of how beautiful friendship can be. Being an army brat, it was hard to make and keep friends for any length of time as a child. Well, let me rephrase that, making them was easy, keeping them was difficult. Over the years, however, I've managed to make some amazing friends and keep those friendships. Sometimes I'll go a month, two months, a year without seeing or speaking to them. When we do have the chance to catch up, its like no time has passed and we can pick up right where we left off! You gotta love that!

6. Taking each day as a learning experience has been a challenge, but I think that's one of the things that makes the AWE factor even greater! I may not know it all, but it's sure fun figuring it all out.

5. Although I may complain, having my Mother-in-law here living with us is a great help. Its hard to have two women trying to run one household. We do it with relative ease and are getting better at it all the time (see #6).

4. I have two of the most amazing nieces! They are sweet, kind-hearted, funny and most of all... genuine. Each time I'm around them I can't help but smile and feel a warmth that only they can give me! Love you girls!!!

3. My sister has been my companion for over 30 years now. She's been there to listen to me laugh and to listen to me cry... sometimes even to laugh until I cry.

2. Growing up it was my parents, my sister and me. The best part is that even though we were all over the globe, we always had each other. In addition to that.... there was more family back home that always accepted us back with open arms and big hugs! We may have been miles apart, but we were always close.

1. Last but certainly not least... My husband and my family are the most amazing and AWE-SUMMM part of who I am. Sr reminds me on a daily basis how special I am to him. The feeling is mutual, of course. Jr reminds me to never give up on my dreams... as he was my dream come true. The newest additions to our family, the twins. They keep me on my toes and make little things come to life that I never thought I'd be able to experience.

Now for passing of the torch. As I don't have many blogs that I read each day, I'm going to put the 3 that I subscribe to. Perhaps I should explore more of them. No, I probably shouldn't as I waste too much time on the computer everyday anyway. Time Management is not one of my AWE-SUMMM qualities!

1. Shari (Life Gets Messy) http://www.lifegetsmessy.com/
2. Jamie (The Smith Family) http://mgjmsmith.blogspot.com/
3. Laurie (Starting Over) http://mommiesout.blogspot.com/

Thanks again, Shari! You know I love ya, girl!

Reflections of my baby

Jr goes back to school tomorrow. This time is slightly different than most. This time, he's a High School student. I'm facing tomorrow with a mixture of emotions. I'm glad he's going back, as he's been bored and fidgety. I'm sad because it feels almost like this is another phase of his life closing forever. No longer is he the little boy who would crawl into my lap and play with my hair. No longer is he the little boy that enjoyed playing with action figures and super hero costumes. We've now replaced toy cars with computers and ipods. I look at him now and see a young man who's preparing for his future, talking about college and driving. In January, he'll be eligible for his Learner's Permit. Again, the fear sets in. My baby driving around in that crazy world while I fearfully grip the door handle, praying for our safe return. The next step - driving around in the crazy world without me. Without me?? That's something I'm definitely not ready for. I miss him already!

When he's grown and has his own family, I'm sure I'll look back and smile at the many memories we've created as a family. I'll fondly remember listening to him hum the Star Wars theme over and over again while he played or watching him put every single Halloween costume on that he'd ever owned, all at the same time or feeling the excitement grow as he and I would create a silly hat for silly hat day at school.

The first time I met him, he was 3 years old. He was weary of any woman in his Daddy's life, I suppose. Slowly, he warmed to me and before you knew it, he was sitting in my lap showing me how to work his favorite toy. I never thought I could love someone else's child as though he were mine. He brought a dimension that I'd prayed for and gladly accepted. Watching him grow has been a privilege. Its not all been easy, and I'm sure he doesn't always believe that I'm happy to have him in my life. We're both head strong, set in our ways, opinionated, antagonistic... But I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. He's been my baby, my boy, my heart and for that, I'm BLESSED.

What a busy morning!

This morning I woke to the sound of silence.

No alarm going off, no babies crying, no dog whining, nothing.... It was nice to wake up without being woken up. The babies slept until about 10 after 8, which is highly unusual. They're usually up the minute the sun cracks the horizon, if not earlier. Sr got up, got in the shower and took Jr with him to work. As MIL is in VA, I didn't know what to do with myself. Silence in the house is such an unusual occurrence. So, I took the baby monitor outside and had a cup of coffee while enjoying the morning sun. The last time I did that was several years ago on a weekend get away in Williamsburg.

As soon as my cup was empty, baby #1 began wriggling in her crib. Of course going into the nursery to get her up woke baby #2. Thankfully, both seemed happy and well rested. Since then, the morning has been somewhat of a whirlwind.

• washed, dried and reassembled both crib sets
• fed 1 jar of baby food per baby
• washed, dried and put away a load of towels
• washed, dried and put away 2 other loads of laundry
• washed and sanitized at least a dozen bottles and their accessories
• picked up baby toys
• made a bed
• gave both babies baths
• walked the dog (with babies in the stroller) around the block
• straighted the kitchen
• began dinner preparations for tonight
• straightened master bath

Wow, now that its all typed out I'm sort of proud of myself. I almost feel like I need to reward myself somehow. I know, the babies are down for naps and I can go back out on the porch with another cup of coffee. If that little bit of rejuvenation gets that much accomplished, then I need to make that a priority!

To be honest, I get through most days wondering what I did with all my time. It feels like all I do is pick up after everyone and wait for them to leave something lying around again. At times its overwhelming and I get grumpy if I see Jr expecting me to pick up after him, same with Sr. I don't mean to be nasty but it just happens. I don't get cranky over having to pick up after the babies because they can't pick up after themselves. But Jr & Sr both know how, but don't. I guess that's partly my fault. MIL & I have done for them for so long that they just expect it, I suppose. Now that the babies are here, I'm having a very hard time doing the things I used to do. Asking them to pick up after themselves just frustrates me, because I turn around and there is yet another pair of socks in the floor and I feel like they just ignore my request.

Sorry to rant and complain. I was hoping that you might have a little insight on how I can work through this, aside from going into a temper tantrum. I don't want to do anything drastic like going on strike, as a friend suggested. I feel like that would simply elevate the situation to another level.

Otherwise, all is well here. I'm fairing pretty well without MIL's help. She really does help out a lot around here, doing the dishes, helping with babies, meal prep and grocery shopping. I'll be glad when she's back though. Its nice to be able to run to the store without an hours worth of preparation in getting the babies ready. Not to mention, my Rover's down again, so I'm toting the babies around in MIL's 2 door sedan; getting backward facing car seats in and out of that back seat - NOT FUN! Not to mention you can't really push a shopping cart and a double stroller at the same time. Too bad they're not big enough for those carts with the big toddler seats. Back on subject - I think I've been more productive the last few days. Partly because I'm not running around doing errands, but staying home more. We'll see how I feel as next week rolls in.

Jr seems to be enjoying his summer. He's addicted to World of Warcraft. If any of you have loved ones considering playing that game.... tell them NO! I've begun to refer to it as World of WarCRACK. He & Sr both play and are continually working on their characters and missions. Its good that they have that to share. They've also been going to the gym nearly every evening together. Both of them are trimming down nicely. I didn't think Jr needed to lose weight, of course, but he's beginning to get definition and looking like a grown man. It's terrifying and amazing all at the same time.

As I mentioned, Sr is really losing weight. Every time I turn around it looks like his clothes are too big for him. He's doing amazingly well at maintaining his eating habits and keeping motivated to go to the gym. He got a membership for me too, but as I'm sure you can imagine, I've not had the opportunity to go yet.

Well, I'm signing out for now and heading to the porch with a cup of java. So as always, keep moving in that direction!!!

As always, things here are still moving forward as fast as a locomotive. Most days that locomotive is fueled with very strong coffee and baby formula!

Today is no exception! In the last 2 days I think I've had about 8 hours sleep. I could be wrong, but I think we have a teething baby or two. Amazingly, the fussing seems to only happen after 12 am each night. I think those little buggers plan it that way. Its a conspiracy to keep me from sleeping, thus keeping me in a caffeine induced fog during the day. Those sneaky sneaky babies (spoken with a crazy Russian accent).

My biggest baby (Sr.) is doing really well with his new diet and the weight seems to be washing off of him in the shower. This makes me happy and irritated all at the same time. I'm so busy dealing with what everyone else eats that when it comes time for me to eat, I just grab whatever with no regard for calories, fat, carbs, etc. So while Sr's weight is falling off of him, mine is just sitting there staring me back in the mirror every morning. Damn that Little Debbie!

Jr's seems happy that summer has finally arrived. Today he's going fishing with some friends. Its good to see him doing things socially. I hope he has a good time. I'm not sure if that means we'll be cleaning fish for fun this evening or not. Well, not me.... yuck! I don't do fish guts!

His report card came in. Not as good as I would have hoped, but not terrible either. 4 B's and 1 C in his core classes. The rest (electives) of his classes were E's (excellent). I was a little worried for a little while, but he pulled up his boot straps and dug in. We're still proud of him. He's been through a lot of change this year and this just proves he can do whatever he puts his mind to.

Babies are doing very well. Zack's still not crawling, but he's working on it. Lissa's pulling up on furniture, drawers, entertainment centers... pretty much anything she can. Won't be long before she's furniture cruising and trying to walk and stand on her own. I'm having a hard time keeping her out of stuff. What on earth am I going to do once they're both mobile??? (Note to self - invest in hair care products to cover all the grey that will surely appear overnight)

MIL is getting excited about her trip back to VA next week. It will do her good to see the rest of the family and her church family. She's been going to a church here but it just isn't the same for her yet. I think she was beginning to get homesick. I hope she has a great time but I already look forward to her return, as I really am happy to have her help.

Well, back to chasing kids, menu planning and all those other things I manage to squeeze into a day. As always, keep it moving in that direction!

Laurie

P. S. - Thanks to all my family that welcomed the babies in so completely! You're all very special to me!

Its a busy world we live in!

I've gotten a few requests for me to update my blog again. So here goes....

Since my last blog a ton of stuff has happened.

First, we had court for custody of the babies on April 24Th. I drove to my parents house on Wednesday, the 22Nd. It was an uneventful trip, aside from a busted AC. The babies and I were cooking by the time we arrived in NC. After a much needed cool off and rest (and a couple cans of AC refrigerant), we made the rest of the trip to VA on the 23rd. We were all exhausted, but arrived by mid afternoon. We chilled at the hotel for the rest of the afternoon. Sr arrived late that evening and then he & a friend went out for a while. I'd have gone too, but the rug rats needed me to stick it out with them. The 24Th was a super long day for all of us. Court wasn't until 3 pm so the babies and I stuck around the comfy, cool hotel room until just before court. Sr ran errands, had lunch with a friend, and even managed to successfully pick out a pair of shoes for me (what a man!!!). Court was supposed to begin at 3 but we didn't get in until 3:30 (always on the court's time). Actually the parents were late this time, not an attorney. Ultimately, the parents agreed that they weren't able to take care of the babies and requested that our petition for custody be granted.

My feelings on this are mixed. While I'm ecstatic that the babies are staying with us, I'm sad for Sarah. I cannot imagine what it must feel like to have to admit that you're not able to care for your own children. I love her dearly and am very disappointed with the direction her life has taken. I only wish there was more I could do for her. Taking care of and loving her children will have to be enough for now, as she & her husband don't seem open to help.

Sr. flew back out Friday evening and the babies & I stuck around the airport for a while so that their parents could have some time to visit with them. I was able to spend some much needed time with T. She always recharges my batteries!

The next morning, we were packed up and back on the road. Thankfully it wasn't as hot a day. We arrived in NC and my family all welcomed us and with open arms. They really are a great bunch. I was able to spend some time with my nieces, my sister, a couple of my multitude of Aunts, my parents and even a cousin or two or 8 (man, coming from a large family is exhausting). Sunday the babies and I got back on the road and were happy to get back home.

Unfortunately, I got home to a sick Sr. My poor honey wasn't feeling well at all. The next day h wasn't any better, in fact, he was worse. After much pressure from me, we ended up at the emergency room. Poor guy was admitted to the hospital. They took good care of him and returned him to me on Thursday evening. I'm hoping we can better manage our diets to keep this from happening again.

So, I'm back on weight watcher and trying to make better choices for our family. I realized that I've taught my son all the bad eating habits that I have and don't want him to struggle with his weight the way Sr & I do. Now that we've got the babies too, I've got to make better choices for them as well. Jr's not nearly as thrilled about the prospect of changing our eating habits but with time, I'm hoping we can all understand what's going on in our own bodies a little better. So far I've lost 2 lbs. Not much in the grand scheme of things, but it's a step in the right direction.

The babies are growing and changing each and every day! They are 8 months old now. Lissa's crawling and yesterday she sat up on her own for the first time. It was priceless! She sat up and then looked around like, "wow, this is pretty cool". She's still a little wobbly, but I guess that's to be expected. Zack's starting to push up when he's on his belly. Crawling isn't too terribly far off I'll bet. He's gotten to be a demanding little fella. He used to be content just sitting back and watching the action. Suddenly he wants to be part of the action.

Jr's excited that school is almost over. Just a few weeks left. He's doing pretty good this 9 weeks and seems happy with all the friends he's gotten in his new school. I remember what it's like to be the new kid in town and he adjusted very well. Actually, he says he's got more friends in this new school than he ever did back in VA. He needs that. Matter of fact, he says, "I feel like I fit better here". That made me immensely happy to hear that. He's still a broody teenager and his parents still don't know anything, but some day!

MIL is doing well too. She was having some issues with her allergies but seems to be doing OK now. The neighbors have planted an enormous garden across the street in the city's green belt. I can see the wheels turning in her head. Something tells me they won't be the only ones next planting season. Either that or I'll almost bet she talks them into letting her use it during the fall (can we say Collards). She has been an amazing help with the kids. With Sr in the hospital last week I really relied on her a lot. I was able to spend quite a bit of time with him and she jumped in! I'm very thankful to have her here. I really need to make sure I let her know how much I appreciate it.

Well, babies are down for naps so its a perfect time for me to get some laundry done (fun fun fun). Thanks for reading!

Keep on moving!!!

A busy month

More and more these days it seems our weekends are eaten up by a trip here, a trip there, and all sorts of activities that keep us from being able to just "BE". Here's a short synopsis of our month.

The first weekend in April Sr & Jr went on a father/son trip to New Orleans. We rented them a vehicle and they took the 10 hour drive down on Thursday. They stayed right in the French Quarter and ate their way through New Orleans. We're raising such a foodie!!! They ate Gumbo, and Etouffee and just generally had a good time. Sunday they made the long trip home. They really had a great time.

Then back into the weekly routine....

The second weekend in April was Easter weekend. I drove Jr to spend the 3 day weekend with his mother in Greensboro. Luckily, my parents are only 1 1/2 hours from there, so I was able to go spend the weekend with them. On Easter, I left for Greensboro. Then my Land Rover pooped out on me. So what started out as a 6 hour trip turned into about 14 hours. Jr & I sat in the Rover for about 2 hours waiting for my Dad & my uncle to come rescue us. We kept ourselves occupied by bouncing babies on our laps and laughing at those goofy kids. Once we got back on the road, it was a constant worry about when it would overheat again. We're pretty sure it is the Thermostat. We got home at about 2 am and Sr re-heated Easter dinner for us (Lamb & Potato soup - DELISH). Overall, I enjoyed spending time with Jr. No video games, no chores, just us chatting it up about everything under the sun.

The third weekend in April has just passed and we were actually able to spend it at home. Sr had to work, though; catching up on all the work he's got pouring in. We went out for Sushi on Friday night. The guys went to the movies Saturday night and Sunday evening I spent on the couch with my honey watching a movie. Once again, back to the weekly routine.

This week is going to be the busiest of the month.

On Wednesday I leave, babies in tow, to head to Virginia for yet another court proceeding. I'll drive to my parents home and spend the night. Then back on the road for the remainder of the trip on Thursday. Court is at 3:00 pm on Friday. Depending on the outcome will depend on when I head back. If the babies stay in Virginia, then I'll drive all the way back on Saturday. If they stay with us then I'll drive to my parents on Saturday morning, then the rest of the trip on Sunday.

Its been a very stressful time for us, as I'm sure you can imagine. Not knowing whether the babies are staying here or not has been hard on all of us. You try not to get too emotionally attached but then they smile at you and the walls you tried to build around your heart just melt away. Its been a great joy to have them in our home for whatever time they stay here. They keep me on my toes and they keep us looking forward. Sr's gotten as attached as I have, I think... even though he won't admit it. Its hard not to. Jr seems to be showing signs of attachment as well. He's started picking them up and walking around with them. He's a good role model. I'm very proud of the young man he's becoming.

Well, so there's the synopsis of our month. Hoping next month is a lot less busy but just as full of love! - KEEP ON MOVING!

Playing dress up

Ok, so I'm going to admit something.... part of the joys of having the babies here is dressing them up in all the cute outfits that are out there. Quite frankly there is much more out there to dress a little girl in than there is for a little boy. Thanks to my mother & father, I've gotten a few new outfits for the babies lately. This one was especially cute on Zack. I had to share!!!

He's such a goofy boy when he smiles....

One long night!!!

Yesterday was Sr's Birthday. I spent the majority of the day running around trying to make things just right for his day, even though he said he'd prefer that I didn't. By the end of the day, I'd managed to get birthday shopping done, leave cards on his desk at work, make a New York Cheesecake (from scratch), get dinner prepared, take care of babies (with the help of MIL, Thank God), get last minute report covers for Jr, and even talked to Mom & Dad multiple times throughout the day.

Wow, what a day!

It never ends, though!

So after the babies are down for the night, I snuggle in next to Sr and begin to watch a movie. I don't quite make it through the movie (neither did Sr). Next thing I know, it's 1 am and there's a screaming baby in the crib. After calming her and getting her back to sleep, I snuggle back in. Now, keep in mind, she's not sleeping through the night yet, so I'm completely accustomed to being woken up at least twice a night. Tonight, however, is a completely different story. From 1:30 am til 5:45 am she woke at least once an hour. It would take me a little while to get her calmed then back to sleep. I calculate that I was able to sleep about 20 minutes an hour. All in all I think I've gotten about 2 hours of sleep. Poor baby had nasty gas. *note to self--no more bananas and pudding baby food*

Now she's sleeping peacefully in her swing and I'm wishing I could snuggle in there too for a nap. Alas, the day must go on. Maybe I'll sneak a nap while the two of them are napping this afternoon. Nope, too much to do!

• Ironing


• Dinner Preparation


• Laundry


• General House Cleaning


• Lunch for Sr

I think I've got enough to fill nap time with being productive. Hopefully she'll rest a bit better tonight and I can too.

Keep on moving!!!

When a 6 hour trip turns into a 14 hour trip

Yesterday I was expecting to spend about 6 hours on the road. Well, it turned into 14 hours, roughly. The trip from Mom & Dad's house to Greensboro was supremely uneventful. Then from Greensboro to home - my Rover decided to poop out on me - REPEATEDLY! My Dad & my uncle Tim came to my rescue and followed me home to make sure we made it back okay. Lets just say that the babies were not happy - but we made it without trauma!

Tomorrow is my honey's b-day. I'm trying to figure out what to make him for dinner but not getting help from him on his wishes. The only request I've gotten is that I don't try something new. So far I've decided on a Cheesecake. I'll have to update with the full menu another time.

Keeping this post short and sweet, so I hope to update again later.

Long week

This week has at times flown by and at others crept slowly. For those of you interested, I tried my hand at bread again. It wasn't a flaming success. Matter of fact, I'm pretty sure you could call it a failure. I'm really not sure what it is that I'm doing wrong. But, I'm not giving up. I'm sure I'll give it another go this coming week, at some point. Besides, at this rate, all the birds in the neighborhood know exactly where to go for food, as I'm making sure they get fed.

As for my list of to do's - yeah, still working on a few of those. The babies were EXTREMELY fussy this week; teeth coming in. They're not sleeping like they usually do and they are really sensitive. Someone sneezes and suddenly both babies are jumping and crying. Its strange. Any advice on the matter would be greatly appreciated.

Jr went back to school after spring break. I'm hoping that he's got a better handle on things this nine weeks. Last nine weeks I believe he was too busy concentrating on making sure he had friends and not realizing how much that was taking away from his school work. I'm trying to make sure I help stay on top of what he's got going on and so far, have been met with less attitude than I had expected. Until he proves himself, he's lost computer privileges on school nights. He's not been happy about that, but I guess its our responsibility to teach him that action creates consequence; no matter how difficult that may seem at times.

Sr, myself and apparently the dog were plagued with some sort of stomach bug too. Thankfully it only seemed to last about a day or so. But getting back into the swing of things after that is always difficult.

Well, I think I'm going to run and grab my glass of wine and try to convince Sr to watch a movie with me. When you can't get out for a movie, bring one in.... and I can't have a glass of red in a movie theater.

Take care all!

Taking her lead...

So my friend Shari came and visited a bit last week, as I mentioned in my previous blog. I had such a blast with her and her girls. Shari is my hero! Now that I'm working on being a domestic goddess like her, I'm trying to take it one step at a time. First step was to try to make bread from scratch using her Family Bread recipe.



I tried my hand at it yesterday for the first time. Let's just say that the first batch turned into bird food. I did something wrong and the bread is super dense. I'm not one to give up, so I'm going to try it again today. Stay tuned for the review.



My son made dinner last night. It was very good, I thought. Spaghetti isn't terribly difficult, but its a start for a 14 year old. He's always willing to help in the kitchen. When I asked him if he'd like to do it, he jumped at the chance. Sr came in about halfway through and helped him a bit while I fed the babies. I'm always thankful for a bit of peace.



This morning I was up and back to my daily activities much earlier than I would have liked. Lissa's gotten her clock messed up, I think. 4:30 Monday morning, 5:00 Tuesday morning, and 4:00 this morning. Hopefully she'll take a long nap so I can catch a wink or two as well. Who am I kidding?? I use that time to straighten the living room. Its about the only time that the room isn't cluttered with baby toys these days.



Today I'm hoping to accomplish several tasks.

• Washing the bedding


• Cleaning the master bath


• Balancing the check book


• Making a batch of Family Bread


• If the weather clears a bit, take a walk with the babies

Again, keep an eye out for how much I actually accomplish. My thinking is that with my readers as my conscious, I'll have to stay on top of it.

Take care!

Nothing is constant but change

Since my last blog my life has changed TREMENDOUSLY!

1. We're now living in a home about half the size in another state. Back in September we started considering a move to Tennessee. After much consideration, we took a great opportunity and moved our family west. So far so good. I love it here. The people are nicer, there is less traffic, the cost of living is significantly lower, and its just a better environment for our family all the way around. I like having the smaller home, too. Much easier to manage. Although, you'll see in a minute why.


2. We currently have custody of a set of beautiful twin babies; Lissa and Zack. They are almost 7 months old now and have been with us since December. Any free time I thought I might have once we moved here is gone in the cool winter breezes. Long story short, their parents didn't have the resources to take care of them. At this point, we've got another court date set for April 24th. We should have more concrete details at that time.


3. My son is doing amazingly well here. He's struggled a little bit with school, but I think that's just because he was concentrating so hard on not being the new kid and getting a gaggle of friends. He misses his friends back in VA, but other than that seems pretty content (as much as a 14 year old can be).

My friend Shari and her beautiful 3 girls came and spent a few days with us. I hadn't seen them since the youngest was a baby. Now she's trying her best to run the roost. They were such a blast to have here. "E" has grown into a very beautiful, helpful young woman. I couldn't get over how tall she'd gotten. "M" is a sight! Definitely the girliest of the girls. So I totally relate to that. I think I might have a tea party friend for life. "J" is a pistol, aptly dubbed "the blonde terrorist". But she's got such a sweet heart! Like a cat; when she wants attention, you must dole it out now.

I'm missing some friends from home terribly; Tami, especially. The funny thing is that when I lived in VA we'd go a year without seeing one another and that was ok, because we knew we could. Now that I'm in TN, I feel like I need to see her more. Thankfully, with the court dates and visitation we've been doing with the babies, I've been able to see her a couple more times. I'd like to go back and spend more time than a couple of hours with her though. Hopefully when she takes her vacation.

Well, signing off for now. I hope to find some time to blog again soon. Enjoy!